The “Being Happier” Podcast
Today’s Topic: How To Attract A Better Relationship – Part 5
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“People On The Side Preventing Relationship Progress!”
I’ll be asking you to be honest with yourself here. If you qualify in this first paragraph, this message applies to you or perhaps this message applies to a friend:
Are you single looking for a relationship but it’s not happening? Are you in a relationship wanting it to go to the next stage but it’s not happening? Do you have a connection or some chemistry with other people and it feels nice, but it’s not really going anywhere? Are you or the other person not doing something about it yet there’s still something there and ‘it’ continues to be active? This needs to be examines and reassessed…!
You might have stayed in touch with your ex’s from the past or maybe you have romantic interests now and you’re in occasional contact. Perhaps this ‘thing’ between you both has been discussed, or maybe it’s been a silent, unspoken energy between you. Maybe your ex or the occasional romantic contact is available, maybe they’re not but they continue this ‘something’ with you. There’s just enough contact for you to feel that there is a person in your life, or that there is an ‘extra’ person in your life…
What are they doing there, really? Why are you in touch with them, really?
It is highly underestimated how much ‘the person on the side’ can have a negative impact on your relationship progress, you being single or already being in a relationship. I’m not saying the person you’re in touch with hasn’t got good qualities, I’m sure they do, it’s what they represent that counts.
Energetically, ‘the person on the side’ represents a fence: preventing your energy expanding and welcoming a new partner or not allowing the next stage of your current relationship to be possible. I’ll make that former statement clear: the person on the side, is like a fence, stopping you from having the relationship you want.
If you’re single and wanting a relationship, you might think: “I’ve got good things going for me, I’m a worthwhile person, I can’t believe I’m not in a relationship, I should be, others are, I just should be” but yet you have the person on the side… They need to be taken into account to explain why the relationship you want isn’t there.
If you’re already in a relationship and feeling hard done by: “why doesn’t my partner do nice things or significant things for me? Why can’t they take me to more places? Why can’t aren’t we moving in together? Why aren’t we getting married? (Or if that’s happened) Why can’t we have a baby?”, but yet you have a person on the side… Your energetic involvement with them will keep the relationship at the stage that it’s at.
Did I just say: if there’s a person on the side, that’s part of the reason why the pregnancy isn’t happening? Yes I did say that. It’s huge and very important factor in the conception process, but more about that another time.
Getting back to the person on the side, they don’t have to be somebody you’re having sex with. You might just be emotionally connected to them, in which case it constitutes ’emotional cheating’. Again, I’m not saying the person on the side isn’t important…
The person on the side could be very special to you… they may have helped you through a hard time; they might have great depth about them; they might give you things that your current partner can’t or other potential partners haven’t given you; they might care and support you when nobody else has or wanted to. I understand, they’re not ‘just’ a ‘person on the side’… they’re an important person… sure… but nevertheless… they are -on the side-.
“But no… they’re not just on the side”. Ok… Let’s explore that… What will they mean to you in the future? Do you see a more united, serious and provable bond between you both in the future (you can’t hope at this point, I mean for real)? How far would anything go between you in the future? What purpose are they serving?
What I’m asking you to look at is, will the person on the side ever give you a proper, full time, committed relationship?
Given that they are on the side, it tends to be where they stay, on the side, they tend not to ‘become’ the main man or woman, because they were never in that role to begin with. Unless… you see the person on the side and yourself progressing… unless you notice how you’re becoming closer… unless you are spending increasing amounts of time together… then they’re not on the side, they’re developing into relationship potential. But it has to last, you can’t test these things for a short time or in isolated circumstances.
Meanwhile, if you don’t have the above occurring and I’ll take a guess, you would have noticed that progression by now… The person on the side needs to be got rid of =if= you hope to welcome a new person in your life or =if= you hope to progress in your current relationship. You might not be able to get rid of them completely, but you at least need to heavily reduce or limit or withdraw your attentions and focus on them.
You need to be honest with yourself and you need to take into account of how energy works if you’re going to have progress in your relationship life. If your energy is split and distracted away from your goal of wanting a new relationship or wanting the next stage of your current relationship, you need to stop. Examine, reassess and get rid of the people on the side. You’re stopping yourself from having the relationship you want.
What do you want? Are you fully and 100% available to focus on one person? Cause if ya ain’t, ya ain’t gettin’ nowhere fast mate.