Benita French is an author and an expert at healing parental conditioning and childhood trauma.
If you are reading this page, Benita applauds you! Almost all adults from their 20s right through to their 70s, are scared to stand up to their parents (and or other family members). The rewards, however, are unfathomable, as every area of life improves as a result.
Most adult children (no matter their age) fear standing up to their parents because:
-They think something bad might happen to their parents
-The parents’ feelings will be hurt which must mean they (the adult child) are a horrible person
-Not being welcomed by their parents
-Being bullied by their parents (perhaps more than they have experienced already)
-Losing money/ assets that their parents are giving them or had ‘planned’ on giving them
-Losing the conveniences/ caregiving/ physical presence/ assistance that their parents give them.
All areas of your life are negatively affected by your dysfunctional parents
These areas include relationships, finances, health, general wellbeing and happiness- a fact of which most people are not aware. Benita can help you acknowledge the ways you have felt negatively affected by your parents instead of letting it pass as something that wasn’t important, not that bad or something you shouldn’t complain about.
The nurturing from your dysfunctional parents always comes with strings attached
These strings or conditions are always enforced with subtle or direct forms of GUILT and control. Benita can help you remember that your feelings count too, that your time, your rest and your peace really matter and NOT to put the needs of your parents before yours.
The support you will receive from Benita:
-The perspective that you do not need to have been badly abused or to have suffered their abusive habits, in order to feel that you deserve your boundaries to be respected by your parents.
-A big dose of self worth to help you adopt the attitude that your parents have no right to your life JUST because they’re your parents. Benita will help you believe that you do not owe them and that you do not exist to parent them or be their baby girl/ friend/ pseudo partner/ lackey/ taxi driver/ bank/ concierge.
-Strength to handle the different ways that they bully you, including feeling okay about contacting them less, for less time or seeing them less often.
-Steadfastness to communicate to them what you may NOT want: attend family functions, be a caregiver to their other children (your siblings or half siblings), a caregiver to their partner (ie. your other parent or step parent), have them come over, give them access to your room/ the space you are in/ house/money/ car/ other.
-Permission to SAY NO to part/ all of your parents requests or demands.
Benita has successfully stood up to her parents and other family members and implemented steel like boundaries on all levels. She is now in charge of every aspect of her life
Benita is aware of ALL the problems you are likely to experience and can guide you to stand up to your parents. Life has improved for Benita immensely since she has done so, as have the lives of her clients when they have applied her suggestions. She looks forward to helping you achieve the freedom and privacy you have wanted.